A favorite photo of yourself and why.

I should preface this by saying that I absolutely can not stand pictures of myself. I do not think I am an attractive person and I’m very self conscious about my looks – even though I don’t frequently do much with my hair (which if you had my hair, you’d realize it was way easier to just toss up in a ponytail). That said, here is a recent favorite of me. Why do I like it? Eh, I think my hair looks pretty good and I just don’t cringe when I see it. Please excuse the quality, it is a phone picture after all.

And here are a few favorites of me, featuring my main squeeze.

As you can see, I am most confident about myself without my glasses and my hair long and straight (as you can tell since they are on top of my head in these two images)

And without the hubby

This one is hard to see, and yes, I was partying this night (the husbands birthday) but I like this picture because it reminds me of how tiny I used to be and how much a difference 8 pounds makes. That is my goal weight again. That is my sister in the picture with me by the way. She’s now about as small as I was and I am not bigger than she was in that picture (which ofcourse she is not big at all, but shows a comparison in my size change).

BEM = Blog Everyday in May – Day 16

Just started and already forgot to add it for yesterday, so I am posting for Day 16 only. Mainly because Day 15 is a Day in the Life of and I didn’t realize that ahead of time. So, I may actually swap out two days and do a Day in the Life of another day. Look out for a post on Kay’s dentist appointments/teeth and Addison’s new cool (sarcasm) hair-do.

Something difficult about your “lot in life” and how you’re working to overcome it.

I think this particular topic is a little difficult for me. Yes, things have been thrown my way and I’ve dealt with a lot over the years but nothing too extravagant that is blog worthy. I’ve lost friends at a young age, I have no grandparents, I’ve dumped and been dumped, I’ve had a miscarriage, I’ve had a daughter with heart issues when she was born, I’ve been almost divorced, my entire family is dealing with the loss of my niece and nephew (no, they didn’t pass away but they haven’t been in our lives since February 2012 since the estranged mom took them away), I have had family issues with the husbands family on multiple occasions and I’ve had my own issues with my own family. Overall, I’m really not scarred by it all. I keep pushing forward, I keep living my life from day to day. I still plan family vacations and look forward to the future with my 4 kids and my husband. I try not to dwell on the past too much and just focus on looking ahead.

I find it incredibly difficult to blog everyday, and I find it difficult to figure out what to write about when things around the home front are rather boring and normal. I found this particular blog post over at Story of My Life and figured that I would jump in. Yes, I’m running behind – 2 weeks behind, but it would still be nice to join in and post for the remainder of the month. And since she says there are no rules, I see no harm in starting now – at Day 14. So, here it is… Day 14 (My Day 1).

Ten things that make you really happy

• First and foremost, my 4 little monsters. Good and bad days, they are still my entire life.

• Being married to the love of my life – even though sometimes he drives me crazy

• The beach (as you can probably tell from the wedding photo)

• Photography – a true hobby and passion

• Reeses Peanut Butter Cups – Majorly addicted right now

1. Disney World… I’d live there if I could

• My Kindle… not anything special about it but when I’m in a reading mood, it’s there for me and easy to carry around.

• Outside in the evenings watching the kids play. The weather is beautiful and the view of the sky is gorgeous (we live where the sunset is gorgeous) and it just gives you a calm, serene feeling

• When my house is clean and I feel like I’ve accomplished something

• When my family comes together and everyone is getting along.

• My blogging time has been limited with a cranky baby

• I am nervous and excited all at the same time for Tristan to start preschool in the Fall. He goes to Vacation Bible School for a week in June. That will be a good indicator at how well he will do.

• I am waiting impatiently for our 55 gallon tank to cycle so I can move my puffer fish to it.

• We’ve been doing chores with the kids for a long while now (maybe a year?) and we’ve just added allowance to it. They’ve been asking for a lot these days and I really want them to realize that stuff costs money and that you have to work for it.

• My insomnia has been crazy lately. Been staying up til 2 or 3am and it doesn’t help that Xanders been up a lot in the middle of the night these past few days.

• I’m on a diet…. and I’m not so great at sticking to it. I have lost a few pounds but not nearly enough. I’m starting to think even when I do get to my goal weight that it wont be enough.

• Addison cut her own hair… again. More on that in another post.

• I haven’t read or done photography in a long while. I really need to get back into doing both.

• It’s been 45 days since my last period. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll get another one until I stop breastfeeding or if I’ll just have seriously long cycles for awhile. I keep thinking it’ll show and it just doesn’t. And, before you even get that thought in your head – pregnancy is 100% NOT POSSIBLE.

• I had my first moms night out in a long time this past Saturday and I had SUCH a good time. I can not wait to have another in June. I needed that time away and am so glad I got to hang out with some amazing girls.

Xander is now 3 months old! The time has gone by so quickly. I really do love the baby stage but I’m really looking forward to the 6 month mark where they can start sitting up on their own and interacting more and just becoming their own little person. No doctors appointment for 3 months old, but we do go in June at 4 months old, so I can’t really give any statistics on his weight or height. I know that he’s over 12lbs now and almost 27in tall. I don’t know specifics though. My guess is that he is currently going through his 3 month growth spurt so he’s been incredibly cranky, eating a ton (so I’m in pain actually) and not sleeping that well. He’s also drooling a ton and trying to chew everything that gets near his mouth, and while I think it is too early for teething, I am starting to think it is not impossible for him to be teething right now as well. He’s trying to tug on his ears and that was a big sign of teething for Tristan.

What is new with Xander? No new milestones really. He LOVES to stand up while you are holding him though. He is famous for the pout lip like Addison was. It is so cute! He is getting much better at going to Willie but when he wants mommy, that is it.. no one else will do. He is consistently in 3-6 month clothing right now, which I don’t have a ton of so we are kind of squeezing him in 0-3 month stuff – which I’m able to do considering they are rompers (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE – Not big on the shirts and shorts thing with a baby so small since the shirts always rise up and it’s a pet peeve of mine). I think he is looking more and more like my side of the family. I don’t think he looks like Willie at all. He looks a LOT like Kayliana and Kayliana is a mini me so I think it’s safe to say there is a good chance he will look like me too!

We got him his convertible carseat since he is growing out of his infant carrier very quickly. It only goes up to 30 inches and he is nearing that way sooner than any of my other kids did. I think all the others were about 23-24inches at 4 months old and by the looks of it, Xander will be about 28 inches, so I am definitely not going to get much use out of our infant carrier. It is still way more convenient to grab the infant carrier out of the vehicle though so I’m HOPING to make it to 6 months but am seriously doubting it.

Here are some pictures for comparison. The one on the left is at 2 months and the one on the right is at 3 months. As you can see, in just a short month, he’s already grown a lot when it comes to height.

Next year, I have already figured out what I do NOT want for Mothers Day. Here are the top 3 things I do not want:

• I do not want my son to have a poo accident and proceed to wipe his poo on my carpet and walls.

• I do not want my daughter to cut half her hair off up to her ears to where I have to cut an additional 8 or so inches off of it.

• I do not want a cranky little baby that nurses every 30 minutes throughout the day and does nothing but cry when he is not nursing

Yep.. that is how my Mothers Day went this year. By noon, there was no turning around the day. It was either going to get worse or just remain the same. No way to make a good day out of all of that mess! Hopefully my birthday in a month is a little bit better.

I hope everyone elses mothers day was amazing though, even if mine blew chunks.

I’m sitting here typing this while Xander screams. Nothing I have done today has made him happy. He just keeps crying and crying no matter what I do. He’s fed, he’s dry, he’s not cold, not too hot, he’s been rocked and held and breastfed every 45mins today and he just keeps on crying. Days like today makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking when I thought it was a good idea to have another! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, even if I do want to strangle them sometimes but something has got to give with this crying. I am SO ready for Moms Night Out this Saturday with the girls. It’s been a trying week and I’m just ready for some me time. I desperately need it. I can say at this point, I am pretty positive I am DONE having kids. I thought 5 kids would have been ideal for me but every day, I’m getting more and more content with the 4. I know that seems like a lot to people but I was really okay having a big family. Both our families come from big families so it wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities. Lets face it though, I can’t stand being pregnant and I’d be PETRIFIED that the next one would be just like Xander. I can honestly say that if Kayliana was like Xander is, she would have been it. Out of all 3 kids, Xander has been my most difficult baby. I thought Tristan and Addison were hard babies. Oh my goodness, they were complete angels compared to Xander. He’s an amazing little boy when he is happy and I love him so much but he’s such a difficult little baby. He doesn’t sleep during the day – literally, and I think he gets overly tired and that causes him to do nothing but cry for the entire day. He’s a great sleeper at night for the most part but I can get absolutely NOTHING done during the day. Going places is difficult because I’m afraid he’ll just cry the entire time anyways. Combine Xanders screaming with Tristan’s lack of listening and you’ve got a giant mess on your hands in public. No way am I adding another to that mix, and if I do, it’ll be an accidental pregnancy or I’ll adopt a 5 year old where they are already potty trained and somewhat self sufficient. LOL.

Anyway, here are a few pictures to share (and don’t worry, I didn’t ignore the baby the entire time I wrote this up. He’s actually sleeping now after screaming for a bit and then me rocking him and rubbing his back).

Kayliana is not thrilled about smiling with her mouth open right now. She’s got 2 teeth that are pushing forward and looking all funky (more on that in another post).

• Kayliana was not feeling well yesterday, and I had to pick her up early from school…. a whopping 15mins earlier than what I would have picked her up at! She acted fine at home and was under the 100.9 they stated she was and b/c she was 100.9 at school, she couldn’t go today (school rules).

• Addison hasn’t been in speech in over 5 months, and I really don’t think that she will need it in Kindergarten. She’ll likely have to be re-tested.

• Xander has been a super fussy baby the past few days, I’m hoping it is just a growth spurt.

• And since I mentioned 3 kids already, I might as well add in the 4th. Tristan has some sort of eye gunk going on. I think it might be allergies as he’s not showing any other signs of illness.

• Insomnia is kicking my ass lately

• I miss hanging out with my friends from Maryland – but I don’t miss Maryland in the slightest. Can’t I just move them here?

• I have been admiring my longer hair for the past 3 days. It’s so nice to not have it up to my damn ears anymore!

• I think I may have found a cure for that stupid rash I was getting.

• We set up a 55 gallon fish tank, and while I love the idea, I’m wondering what the heck we got ourselves into!

• I am not so sure I want another baby anymore. I’d love to have a girl but the older Xander gets, the more I think I’m done. I am not 100% decided yet but think I’m leaning more towards being done. I’m thinking my family feels “complete.”

Yay for a new blog! If you made it here, you’ve found my new site, or you are automatically being redirected through Charmedlifechronicles. I know it took a lot longer than I had anticipated, but atleast it is up now and the hubs took me seriously when I said it needed to be up by the end of the weekend. Granted, it is 10:30pm on a Sunday night, but it’s up like I said it would be.

Again, if you aren’t following Mixof6, you can do so by clicking on on the follow buttons/links on the right hand side with Networked Blogs or Blog Lovin’.